I told Monday to list the numbers 1 though 10 sequentially. When Monday asked why I said I wanted to make the day count!
Updates from Matt Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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Matt
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Matt
I’m writing a book about minotaurs called “Of Bison Men”.
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Matt
Did you hear about the party at the beach? It was apparently a shore thing.
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Matt
I think my thumbs are against me; you could say they’re opposable.
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Matt
Excuse me sir, I have an issue that needs to be addressed immediately. What issue sir? This postcard!
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Matt
A new breed of animal has been discovered, more dangerous than others. He eats sweaters and worn out jeans. Its the THREADBEAR.
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Matt
What did the feta cheese say before the fight? Lets get ready to CRUMBLE! Sorry for the crumby joke…so cheesy!
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Matt
Anyone who’s been to a library knows the circulation desk is the heartbeat of the place.
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Matt
The last time I tried to think of something off the top of my head, all I got was “fedora!”
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Matt
You know what I use to prop open my door? Ajar. Sometimes it jams…
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Matt
What would you call the science of straws? Astrawlogy. It really sucks!
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Matt
What did the little lobster say when his father fell and broke his leg? “Crawl dad!”
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Why did the momma rope ground her son? Because he had been knotty. Guess he’ll be tied up for a while…
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Matt
You heard of weather zombies? All they want is “RAAAAaains, rains!”
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Matt
The next time you can’t see something with your naked eyes, try putting clothes on them first, because come on, we don’t want to see that!
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Matt
If you start cutting corners, sooner or later everything will be round.
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Matt
Why are parking meters called meters? Shouldn’t we be calling them parking yards in the US?
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Matt
If I take a course on acupuncture, will I get additional points?
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Matt
I like to think of my legs as twins. No, they’re not identical, they’re actually fraternal.
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Matt
Someday we’ll all look back on this and laugh — when we watch it in slow motion!